Grieving is a natural part of the life cycle process.  When something or someone is no longer a part of your life, you grieve.  You heard me right, Some-thing!  A person doesn't have to die for you to grieve them.  A veteran coming back from war or even just Basic Training changes and the person you knew before they went is gone.  The son or daughter you kissed goodbye came back a changed person and now has to live with what they experienced, good or bad.  At the same time the Veteran may grieve what they once had been or been able to do and now no longer can. 

You can grieve over lost chances, old lifestyles, parents who weren't there for you, body parts, your family situation, jobs you can now no longer do.   When I became so ill I couldn't work in nursing anymore, I became so angry.  I had been darn good at my job and now I had to find a way to cope.  I grieved for the patients I would never help and my co-workers I would never joke with again and the doctor whose friendship I valued everyday.  I knew I could visit but it wasn't the same.  My life now is taking a different direction but I am still able to fill my need to help people.  I am now rolling with the flow of my life instead of fighting for what I had but can no longer do.  You can do this and find fulfillment also.

Grieving goes through cycles and you can be at any stage at any time for as long as it takes.  The important thing is to allow yourself to grieve.  A woman I know is still angry with her deceased husband and he has been gone for 26 years!  I have to say that anger this long is not healthy.  She came from a background of being the middle child and showing emotion was frowned upon.  You need to go through all the stages even if only briefly for the grieving process to do you some good.  Your body processes change and hormonal changes kick in.  Emotions need to be acknowledged and talking with someone can help your mental state.  Anger, Denial and Depression are all easy to "get stuck" in.  These stages won't let you deal with reality and therefore you create your own little world.  Going through them is ok and acceptable, just let it happen.  What isn't good is when you stay there and want everyone around you to be there, too.  Cycling back through the stages can be bad also.  You keep repeating old thought patterns and find they don't serve you as they once did so you keep with this avoiding the inevitable.